Recently, I have been reading Psalm 62 5-8 over and over again.
5Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Last year I have had anything but physical rest. I have been up night after night thinking and praying about my broken relationships, big life moves, and what I want to really do as a career. This year, I have been in the same boat. I have been up at night listening to the sounds of the hood, missing home, and worrying about if I ever will fully adjust to my life in Memphis.
God is my rock and refuge.
Wednesday December 12th, I had a really hard day. My students have not been behaving well because we were all in need of a break. Christmas break was coming right around the corner and we were all ready. After a hard day in the classroom, I needed to leave a little early to go to a doctors appointment. During Thanksgiving break, I was back home in Chicago. I took the kids that I used to nanny to the roller rink for a day of fun. I was so excited because I missed them so much and this was the first time I was able to hang out with all four of them in a long time. On a turn, my roller blade’s wheels got caught in one of their wheels and I fell hard to the ground. I landed right on my left pinky finger. To make a long story short and a trip to the ER, I fractured my pinky. Since it was only a pinky it seems like a pretty small deal but that is actually not the case.
God is my rock and my refuge.
On Wednesday December 12th, I was getting my pinky checked out by a hand specialist doctor. They took x-rays and when they showed them to me, I wanted to throw up. Yuck! The fracture happened on a diagonal and there was a extra piece of bone sticking out where it shouldn’t be. My doctor then tells me that I need surgery in order to fix it. If you know me I HATE all things medical. This is hard for me. I didn’t know that a little pinky and a trip to the roller rink would cause this much of a problem. I schedule my surgery on the first day of my Christmas break. This changed a lot of my plans which made me sad.
God is my rock and my refuge!
After I come home and tell my roommate about my day we decide to cheer me up by going out to dinner. On our way to the restaurant, we got into a car accident. My roommates car was hit by another driver on the highway. The other car was driving in the left lane and we were driving all the way in the right. They cut across three lanes recklessly and did not see her little blue car. They hit us so hard in the backside of our car that they spun and hit us in the front causing us to lose control. We started heading straight for a light pole and my roommate was trying to correct the wheel. Everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion. We ended up hitting the light pole on the right side of the bummer and knocked it over. Praise the Lord that the light pole did not fall on us. When the car came to a stop, we both realized that we were not hurt at all and the airbags did not explode. We walked away from that accident untouched while the driver that hit us was rushed to the hospital.
God is my rock and refuge!
Time for the pinky surgery came and went. My doctor operated and put three screws in my little pinky. I was put in a full arm cast for weeks. When my pinky came out of the cast it of course looked gross. My next step was to start Physical Therapy. I love my therapist! She is great and a gift from God but progress is not happening like we hoped it would. The middle joint of my pinky is stuck from swelling and scar tissue. I have not been able to bend my pinky for months now. My motion will probably never be back to 100%. I never realized how much you actually use your pinky until you lose it. Pray that God will heal my pinky and destroy the scar tissue so it is able to bend again.
Still God is my rock and refuge!
This passage reminds me where my rest comes from. Life in Memphis might be hard but I know I need to trust God and pour out my heart to Him. The word refuge has been popping off the page in scripture to me for two years now. The definition of refuge means, “a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble.” The idea of being safe not because of my circumstances but because God is our refuge gives me a better understanding of who God is. I am so glad that I get to experience this in a real way by sitting in my brokenness and the brokenness of the world. God is calling me into a deeper relationship with him through the hurt.
“My rest comes from God alone”
This is the driver who hit us’ car This is the light pole we knocked over.
This is just one side of my roommates car which is now in car heaven
After surgery picture. I couldn’t feel my arm for a whole day. X-ray after surgery!
God is Faithful 